Benefits
by HeavenlyOoberries
Summary: Axel and Roxas are lifelong friends who decide they should just get it over with and sleep with each other. But it's just so weird! AkuRoku, mentions of other pairings. 3shot. Humour. Bromantic.
1. Chapter 1

..So this came out (no pun intended) of my currently stressful schedule and my tendency to pull several all-nighters in a row for homework. And that I would consistently happen to glance at the clock at 8:13 exactly. I concluded that I needed therapeutic AkuRoku. My homework can suck it (pun intended). If you happen to read Virus or Nothing's Call, I hope this tides you over until I can get back to them. It will happen. Soon. Zis is a three(andahalf)shot so should not take up too much of my life.

The characters and Kingdom Hearts in general are not mine. Witty remark.

**Warning:** If you're looking for a sparkly romance you're in the wrong place. This is bromance all the way, my friends. Also there's gay sex in it. If that bothers you... why are you here?

* * *

><p>Axel and Roxas had been friends for a long time – <em>too<em> long, Axel often said. It was just one of those really goddamn eternal friendships that had started so long ago the two had been too young to remember what actually happened. They could have been born like that, for all they knew, and they would probably die like that... or at least be crotchety old men in rocking chairs together.

The earliest thing Roxas could clearly remember was the two of them trying to learn to skateboard when they were far too young. Axel fell a lot and dragged Roxas down with him. They were both pretty roughed up by the end of the day, and according to Roxas's mother (he had forgotten this part, himself), the blonde boy had one hell of an infected cut after that. There was still a faint scar on his right hip from it, and he made sure to never let that one go. Roxas eventually got the hang of it, and he spent most of his young life travelling by that board. Axel swore off the thing forever, claiming it was out to get him.

Axel was a little older – two years, six months, a week, and four days to be exact – so he remembered some of the earlier stuff. He had some vague memories of Roxas when he was just a toddler, but the earliest thing he could make sense of... well, it wasn't that monumental. They were at his childhood home (he'd since moved across the city, closer to Roxas) on the old couch, watching cartoons. He remembered Roxas pouring juice on him and laughing until he realised Axel was actually upset. He hadn't been that mad about the juice on himself, it was more what had spilled on his dog and the couch, which his mom would murder him for.

In third grade, Roxas was in the hospital for a couple weeks surrounding surgery. Axel - who was in fifth grade at the time - visited him the first day of recovery and brought him chocolate, which Roxas couldn't eat. Axel sat next to him all day, eating is damn chocolate, but keeping him entertained in his sedative-high state. Axel came back any day he could after that.

The next year Axel jumped him and started punching him for a reason so stupid he couldn't even remember it now. Roxas reacted and threw just as many punches back. They rolled around on the schoolyard, whaling on one another until the teachers came and broke it up. That was their first _real _physical fight, as well as their first suspension. They stayed pissed at each other for a total of forty-eight hours, and then came back to school laughing at each other's bruises.

Later that year, Axel got sick at Roxas's tenth birthday and threw up onto his plate during dessert. He spent the rest of the day in the bathroom, feeling too awful even to drive home. Roxas wasn't too upset about his birthday; he felt worse for Axel, who on top of being sick was embarrassed for being unable to hold his stomach in public like a baby. He stayed with the redhead in the bathroom the entire time, covering his ears whenever he stuck his head back in the toilet. Roxas ended up getting the same stomach virus a couple days later, but he knew it was his own fault. After they both felt better they made a deal over the phone to pretend to be sick one more day. That was the first time they skipped school intentionally, messing around on Roxas's computer and playing basketball in the adjoining park. Roxas, as it turned out, wasn't feeling quite up to speed and nearly had to stop to heave again during their game.

In their weird years following, they ended up being the most emotional of their lives. Axel entered the eighth grade as his dog died and Roxas was there for him. Axel was there while Roxas tried to work out his shit over his brother Sora - older by exactly one year – for who-knew how long. Axel never said it, and Roxas never brought it up, but they both knew that Roxas had always felt inferior to his brother - more skilled in just about everything and with fewer problems. Rather than sort things out by asking Roxas how he felt about it, Axel just found ways to subtly assure him that he meant a hell of a lot more than his brother did, at least to _him_.

The years that Axel was in high school before Roxas, he went out of his way to tell him all kinds of horror stories about it. After two years of that, the younger boy was hardly willing to go at all. Then his first day went perfectly except for nearly being trampled in the cafeteria (which that same redhead saved him from). He was not impressed with Axel's lies, but Axel found it quite hilarious. He got back at Axel by becoming far more popular than him through high school. Then it seemed to be almost an act of charity to hang out with him, but he certainly did more than any other friend.

That first year of high school was the year that Roxas came out to Axel. He wouldn't tell another person at least a year, he didn't trust them. Axel had never needed to come out, he liked guys and that was just sort of how it had always been, but he understood what Roxas was going through. They sat there in Axel's dark basement bedroom, almost unmoving, for hours after Roxas blurted it out to him. That was the first and so far the only time he'd ever seen Roxas cry (in memory anyway, he must have when he was a very young).

High school wasn't a particularly good time for Axel, in terms of his home life (but is it good for _anyone?_). His parents couldn't handle his spontaneous and sometimes aggressive behaviour. Roxas gave him a place to stay those nights he needed to get away from them and occasionally took a punch to help him work out his frustration. When Axel got the tattoos on his face and the earring, he was there supporting him, not getting all freaked out about how he was changing. Axel was the kind of guy who was always moving, always trying to do something else and he didn't have patience for those who didn't keep up. Fortunately, Roxas was skilled in that regard; he got bored easily. Probably why they worked together so well all those years instead of falling apart as they matured.

Those times with Axel's family as well as Roxas's issues with Sora and his identity were the first times they got drunk together. _Really_ drunk, not just sneaking their parents alcohol and making a lame attempt to replace it with water. It was impossible to remember how many times they stayed up at one of their houses or at a party or in that old park, collapsed and lethargic next to each other. Those nights never ended up clear exactly in the morning. Through the years, Axel was a bigger partier than Roxas because of the misfit friends he'd made, but he'd usually end up calling Roxas to come and find him by the end of the night anyway.

They entered college in the same year because Axel took a couple years off to work and see if he could figure out what to do with his bum life. He ended up going for English anyway. Roxas was in political science, still overshadowed by his brother who went to _university_. But it was decent.

They'd literally been together through it all. They were friends through each other's horrible phases of listening to this and wearing that and they had more embarrassing blackmail on each other than they could possibly use in a lifetime. The two of them couldn't remember how many times they'd seen each other naked, cheated off each other's work or gotten the other out of an especially stupid situation. They were pretty much as close as two people can get without having a dramatic love confession in the rain or any of that bullshit.

After college, which seemed to be a lot less eventful (or maybe that was the partying again), Roxas got a job and they scraped enough for an apartment together. Axel held jobs for a while, but his degree was pretty much useless and they didn't last long. With so many years of friendship, it would be difficult to find the most interesting story to tell. There would be a slight disturbance in their friendship, though not quite a change, with Roxas now twenty-two and Axel twenty-five.

* * *

><p>Morning. Mornings <em>sucked<em>. Axel rolled in his bed (futon), no longer comfortable but still unwilling to get up to a day that would surely be filled with nothing. Whatever was making noise outside his cave-like bedroom was going to lose something vital sometime soon. Reluctantly he stuck his head out from his blanket cocoon. He could _feel_ the hilarious bedhead he was sure to have and it didn't make him any more enthusiastic about getting up. His head flopped onto his pillow, misplaced at some point during the night and he dared open his eyes. The clock read _5:21_ PM. Oh. Well. Evenings _sucked_.

The noise outside... it _burned,_ but he was grudgingly starting to regain his senses. Keys being put down, a heavy end-of-the-day sort of sigh. Must have been Roxas, he was usually home by about that time.

Aw hell, now he had to wake up. Roxas already made fun of him for being a freeloader, and if he slept through the entire day he was at work, he'd never hear the end of it. His head spun as he sat up, bleary and disoriented. He hated rushing the moment after he gained consciousness. He rubbed his eyes, trying to force them into seeming alert. Okay now, act natural.

He flung his bedroom door open, with a far-too-cheerful, "Welcome home!" Damn it, he never said that. That would make him a housewife or something.

Roxas raised an eyebrow at the amazing height reached by Axel's bright red tumbleweed or rat's nest thing. "Nice hair, Ax. Did you just wake up?"

"Mnuh...?" Having no mirror, Axel tilted the back of a DVD up. Huh. That was embarrassing. "I'm insulted, this is a fashion statement."

"Uh-_huh_. I asked you to pick up your shit from last night while I was at work..." He stopped Axel before he could interrupt, "Don't worry about it now. I'm heading out for coffee, and I guess I can take your mooching ass with me."

"Coffee..." He sounded like he'd just found an oasis after crawling through the desert for years. Not exactly intelligent. He shook the wakefulness into his head. Right. Awake. Awake to get coffee. Coffee good. "Sweet, uh, I'm going to fix my hair and get dressed. Unless you'd like me to go as I am." He wiggled his eyebrows and hips flirtatiously.

"Believe it or not I still have some pride." Roxas went to sit at their pathetically small kitchen-slash-dining-room-slash-whatever table. "You could stand to shower too, but I don't have that kind of patience. The longer I wait, the closer I come to fainting dead on the floor."

'Yeah, me too' Axel _wanted_ to say, but that would probably get him decked quite suitably. He was a growing boy (not really) - he needed a lot of sleep! Also, he had no job and no life, so what the hell did he need to be awake for? Unfairness aside, he settled on the safest course of action, "No time. Fixing hair now."

"Shoo then." Roxas waved him toward the bathroom. Axel wavered, made a precise quarter-turn and sort of zombied his way to the half opened door, which he pushed open with his forehead. He wasn't that tired, Roxas knew, he was just being a drama queen.

There was something on the table – a slip of paper. Roxas, pre-emptively guessing what it was, flipped it up. Another notice that their phone service would soon be cut if they didn't pay. Brilliant. He could have paid it if he hadn't covered Axel's part of the rent last month while he looked for a job. Now what? Even if he worked overtime he wouldn't be able to make that _and _this month's rent. How long would they be able to keep this place?

By all standards of those fresh out of college, it was a pretty good apartment. It was eighth floor of a ten-floor building, with a fantastic view of the other apartment building just behind theirs and the small courtyard-type area in between where only old people hung out. There was a bedroom for each of them, a bathroom that worked, and then a sort of communal kitchen, dining room, living room, front room hybrid. But it suited them. It wasn't as though either of them were huge on privacy. They'd had a bit of help from Roxas's parents in paying for it (okay, more than a _bit_), but they now had full responsibility over expenses. And if Axel didn't get some goddamn cash flow soon they would be out on their collective ass. Roxas wasn't eager to ask to stay with his parents and Axel... he was probably the only one who would take Axel in, which didn't bode well for him. Stupid leech in friend's clothing.

As if he didn't have _enough_ on his mind today. Roxas slumped his head on the table. He had to get changed. Casual clothing. The button up shirt and slacks bit wasn't really the image he wanted to go out for coffee. But he wanted _sleep_. Bah, Axel. Getting to sleep whenever.

And speak of the fuckin' devil... or devil's voice in the bathroom, "Hey Rox?"

He flopped his head to the side for purposes of being comprehensible. "Yeah?"

"My hair gel turned into a rock overnight so I'm using yours. Where is it?"

Roxas didn't want to know how that was possible. He'd been that walking disaster's friend for twenty-odd years, and he was capable of far more baffling things. "I thought you didn't like mine. Doesn't make your hair shiny."

There was a pause. Axel saw his point. "Yeah, but it's that or go out looking like the little friggin' mermaid. Where is it?"

"Uh, one of the drawers on the right. I think the bottom one... or the middle one. Don't get your hair in it." He pressed his face down again at the expense of his nose.

"Aye aye. Are you getting dressed?"

"I'm getting there." He dragged himself off the chair and towards his room. He resisted the easy temptation of grabbing some clothes off the floor from... he didn't know, some time after last laundry day.

"Well wait for me to be done, I don't want to miss the show." He was teasing, obviously. He knew Roxas looked damn fine naked, but even he wouldn't mess with a taken man. This was just allowed because of how close they were, though. As was occasional groping. At least those were the rules he'd made up.

Roxas rolled his eyes, pushing his bedroom door open and leaving it as he grabbed a pair of khaki cargo pants, some t-shirt with a grey-red-black design thing, and a long sleeved shirt for underneath. He sat back on his bed, not caring enough to close the door as he kicked off the dress pants (he made sure to fold _these_ properly, he'd be in hell if he wrinkled his work clothes) and slid into regular-person clothes.

It was impossible to tell who finished getting ready first. Roxas had just finished putting his socks on as Axel left the bathroom, hair looking normal (relative statement) and somehow, though he hadn't seen him grab clothes, dressed head to foot in black.

Axel leaned against the doorframe, looking down on him. He loved towering over his midgety blonde friend. "Do I have to bring my miserable, starving wallet?" He attempted some kind of pout, which was a damn sight more frightening than endearing, to tell the truth.

"If you don't, we're walking. I'm not paying for your bus fare and your coffee."

"Hm. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I'll walk to save the five-ish bucks."

Roxas levelled his gaze. "Really, how noble of you."

"I'm saintly, what can I say?"

The younger man had to break a smile at that. He was good at being petulant usually, endlessly sarcastic and defensive, but Axel made him loosen up. Figuratively. "Let's go before we both pass out."

"Here here." Axel shoved his own key in his pocket before following Roxas out into the hallway.

And the walk between was nothing notable.

* * *

><p>The coffee shop was pretty cramped. It was independent; nothing fancy, hip, or expensive – words that always seem to travel together. It was usually too hot in there because the ventilation sucked, and the walls were this weird car-part-grey colour that made it look either old-timey or just cheap. Their stuff was decent to a couple of fresh grads with a single income. It was always somehow packed with people though, and it always lived up to its promise of good-enough non-illegal wake up juice.<p>

Embarrassingly, Roxas had to tuck his feet around the support beam of the far-too-tall stool when they couldn't touch the ground. Axel, giant beanpole freak that he was, had no issues of the sort. At least he had the warm caffeine saviour between his hands, and he curved over it, the heat brushing his eyes and at the very least tricking him into feeling more awake.

"You going to drink it or bathe in it?" Axel sipped his iced coffee. Always with the iced coffee, any time of the year. He didn't like hot food or drinks, his internal temperature was already unusually high. Suited Roxas just fine - he seemed incapable of holding any body heat, himself.

"Shut up. I'm meditating." Slowly, he sat back up, finally pouring the burning, bitter liquid down his throat. Painful, disgusting magnificence.

"How do you drink it like that anyway?" Axel leaned in his seat, throwing an arm over the back.

Ugh, best friend roommates were distracting him from caffeinated nirvana. "Like what?"

"With nothing in it. I already know you're no fun, but no sense of taste either?"

"Shows what you know." He held it close. It was so much more precious to him than any old lifelong friend was. "It's the only right way to drink it; strong. No milk, sugar, or anything diluting the taste. How do you wake up if you just taste cream instead of coffee? Has to be as hot as possible too – scalding, even. Who cares if it tastes good?"

Axel took a long drink from his, watching Roxas over the cup. "You should write that down: _Ode to Cheap Espresso_. Maybe you could sing it when Dem's band does their next gig."

His most despised talent. Roxas could sing, and he could sing damn well. It wasn't his fault - he was born with it. His mom made him do kiddie concerts when she learned, which he got out of at the first opportunity. He really wanted everyone to just forget about that, but Axel wouldn't _let _him forget. So, alternatively, he flipped him off. He just gave Roxas that goddamn Cheshire grin.

"You know I'm just going to take that as an invitation." He purred in some messed up attempt at being seductive.

Roxas didn't give him the satisfaction of reacting, just setting his cup down. "So anyway. Uh... Hayner and I broke up."

"...What? Seriously?"

Roxas shrugged. "Mhm. Over lunch today." He and Hayner worked in the same area, so often a few people would get together for lunch. Today had been just the two of them. Yeah, _awkward_.

"Oh... Shit. That sucks." Okay, so that wasn't the most helpful thing Axel could say, but how the hell else do you respond to your friend's break up?

The blonde sipped his coffee again with an absent noise. "Not really, it was going that way for a while. We want different things."

"Different things like he wanted more time together or different things like he wanted you to pull his hair and call him 'Cowboy'?"

"Closer to the first one. Also he sucked at being on the bottom."

Axel grinned. This sounded more like the Roxas he knew. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, he'd get all whiny whenever we switched up."

"Huh, and he always seemed like kind of a bitch to me."

Roxas snorted, nearly choking on his coffee and spilling it everywhere. "Whatever, we'll be friends in a few more days. I'm not bitter. Annoyed that I held out this long when things weren't changing, but not bitter."

"Huh. You wanna... go out for drinks later anyway? Make you feel better."

He considered. The break up wasn't one of those which required getting drunk. He liked drinking after work, though, when he didn't have to be there the next morning. It made unwinding from a week that much easier. "Why the hell not. Uh, how are you paying?"

Axel froze, then melted into that kind of face-punch-provoking smile. "You could... uh... be my sponsor?"

"Your sponsor." He paused, as though thinking, just to make Axel squirm. Like he would actually turn down a drink once it had been offered, even if he was paying. "Sure, except let's just get our own - I don't feel like being in a bar tonight."

"Fine by me, let's go."

"What, right now?"

"Yeah now, it's late enough." There was a liquor store a couple blocks from here, Axel was pretty certain, and his iced coffee seemed to be less appealing by the minute. Also he'd forgotten to mention to Roxas that he had a job interview in the morning so being up all night drinking would be somewhat detrimental to that sort of... success thing he wanted... maybe even being hired. Maybe. Whatever, he'd remember to tell him later.

Roxas figured he was awake enough. It wasn't as though this was unusual for them, changing their plans for the night on a whim. Roxas kind of liked that he didn't know where he'd end up by the end of the night, provided it was one of _those_ nights. His hands found their way to his pockets and he left his coffee on the table (what? The cashiers were paid to do things like that. It wasn't his job). Axel grabbed his younger friend around the shoulders, almost pushing him out the door.

* * *

><p>Roxas words were a bit of a mess by now. "You know... you know what else?"<p>

"What else?"

"Hayner... He's always checking out Seifer. _Always."_

The two friends sprawled next to each other on the park's picnic table. It was kind of gross, and there had probably been any number of unspeakable things done on top of it, but it was a great place to flop onto when you'd been parading about the town with bottles and bottles of alcohol for the better part of the night. Axel liked getting drunk in the park, it left more opportunities for funny shit to go down. Roxas just wanted to be outside for the night.

Axel had completely forgotten his interview at this point. Who cared about employment? _Beer_.

"Seriously?" Axel laughed with a messy sort of grin. "Knew those two had it in for each other."

"Mm," Roxas raised his (how many was it now? He couldn't remember) bottle in a mock-toast, "Everyone knows. There's so much sexsh-... sexull-... _sexual_ tension, oh god..." He laughed at himself, unable to believe he'd just stumbled over the word so many times. He wanted another. He thought he should stop, but he still wanted another.

The redhead leaned more against the table, resting his head on Roxas's extended forearm. "Wow Rox, smooth."

"Whatever. Your hair itches."

"Yeah, your hair gel." He paused, looking up at his best friend's flushed cheeks. "You're fucked, man. Think we should head back?"

"Mnehh... Yeah, probably should." Being even more tired tomorrow would suck ass. He wanted the day to... well, do nothing – but be conscious doing nothing! "What do we do about the bottles?"

"I dunno, dump 'em or leave 'em. Park ranger's find them like every morning. They'll do something about it." He started to stand, wrapping a hand around Roxas's bicep and hoisting him. "C'mon, you're not getting up unless you help yourself."

Roxas groaned but relented to standing with Axel's help. He leaned heavily on his taller friend. Man, how did he always smell so good? It was like... kinda incensey the way he smelled like burning spices, not really musky or manly, just spicy. It was exotic and calming melded together, but also sort of sexy. He'd told Axel all this before, who just made fun of him for smelling him of all things, but it was true. Anyone who got close to him claimed the same thing. Sora's friend Kairi used to pretend to be cold all the time in high school so her and her friends could get a hold of one of his sweaters. Creepy, yeah, when you say it like that but case-in-point: he smelled _good_. That didn't help his leaning problem. Were it not so emasculating and stupid, Roxas would almost be tempted to be carried home, just to bury his ass-drunk face in Axel's shirt and surround himself with the calming feeling, Axel's warmth, and his addictive personal cologne.

"Rox, your face in my ribs is making it hard to walk." He tried not to laugh. Roxas never acted this friendly sober. Sure he'd sometimes fall all over Axel - because apparently he was comfortable despite being no more than bag of bones - but he was more casual, usually punching Axel if he dared comment. No, with the right amount of alcohol in him, it could even be said that Roxas _snuggled_. And it was funny as hell.

"Mn. Sorry." There, he'd addressed Axel's complaint... that didn't mean he was going to _stop_.

Somehow Axel dragged his little blonde-... blonde friend, he meant... over to the path. They passed by an assortment of plant life that could be called something between a bush and a forest, but wasn't either entirely. It rustled a bit. This had better not turn into a horror movie.

"Nngh-... Hey, ahh... _'Ku_." ... Well, that hadn't come from either of them.

"Shh. Mm, be quiet..."

The two of them had a feeling they knew what was going on and smirked at one another. Roxas straightened up somewhat effectively so they could move around the bush-forest-thing. So this was spying – but who does it in a public park then gets offended by people spying?

Brown. Silver. Spikes and Silk. Riku's face half-buried, appearing to be nosing up Sora's childishly colourful shirt to get a good taste of his chest and navel. Sora's jeans were pushed to his knees, dirt smearing all over the backs of his thighs, and a hand was roaming about in his embarrassingly cartoon-emblazoned boxers. Riku's hand, specifically. Sora didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, for now just hanging on.

... Uh. Right. Voyeurism wasn't so fun anymore.

Axel almost laughed aloud, Roxas just turned away, made quite sober now and not wanting to look at that. Eh, they both figured, let them have their midnight-park-bush romp. They got out of earshot pretty fast, not wanting to be heard and definitely not wanting to _hear_ any more.

Axel looked almost paler than usual. "So... that was weird as fuck. Maybe they were smashed, too." He looked at Roxas, who seemed a little shaken but otherwise fine. Why wasn't he freaking out too? He just saw his brother and his best friend ass-deep in foreplay, was that not distressing? As far as Axel knew, Sora and Riku weren't a couple. Sora had given up on dating Kairi years ago, yes, but those two were always platonic, right? Right?

Roxas didn't answer, so the redhead prodded a little more. "Those two together? You're not getting freaked out yet?"

"Not really. I mean, I really didn't need to catch my brother in the act, but it wasn't that weird."

They turned onto a dark road toward their home. It was too backstreet-like to be granted with proper streetlights, or at least maintained streetlights. And it was deserted entirely by this time. Roxas stepped of the sidewalk and walked heel-toe alone the fading yellow line down the centre. It was so much better to use the middle of the road than the sidewalk – the air even felt better – and they could always just step off to the side if a car came.

Okay, so his little roommate wasn't taking it badly. There was definitely an explanation for that. There had to be. Usually Roxas got all jittery when it came to the strange and less-than-cool things his brother did. So Axel ventured, "When did they hook up? Sora and Riku." (And he couldn't believe he just thoughtlessly used the term 'hook up'. Ugh. Queen moment.)

Roxas gave him a weird look over his shoulder. "I don't know. Never, as far as I know."

Axel didn't like this one-foot-over-the-other way of walking, so he stepped off to the right a bit and strolled on like a normal person. "One night stand? That doesn't seem like them."

"Nah, it's not that, they care about each other too much. They're probably just friends with benefits."

"Friends with benefits, huh?" Axel snorted, almost dismissive. "Still seems fucked up."

"How so? Friends can have sex. Not that it doesn't mean anything. It just doesn't mean 'relationship'."

"Blondie, are you coming onto me? I'm so flattered. But you know..." He held one palm flat open over Roxas's head, "You must be this tall to ride."

Roxas slapped his hand away. "Fuck off, dude. I'm talking theoretics here. I'm getting sick of the 'boyfriend' title anyway, it just screws things up. It has with me and Hayner. Things were cool until we were 'dating', even though we said nothing would change."

"Yeah, and you're drunk-talking right now. Friends with benefits always ends up just like a relationship. Either way they become 'more than friends' right, and somehow there ends up being a break up." Regardless, his eyes roved down Roxas's body. Not that checking him out was even slightly out of the norm. What could he say? He'd made a hot best friend.

"You're looking at it wrong. Sex is like, classified as its own special rite-of-passage thing, but it's not really. You and I both know it's not 'special' or 'beautiful' or all that intimate, in the original sense of the word. You get off and hopefully have fun with it."

"Your point being?" Axel draped an arm around Roxas's shoulders. The topic of conversation wasn't going to make him uncomfortable doing _that_.

"Think about it. How many times have I treated you to coffee or drinks? I don't do that with every person I meet. And I don't let them use my hair gel, and I really don't get _close_ to them like I do with you." Roxas paused, not wanting to walk and talk at the same time any longer. "What if sex was just another thing we did, between friends, right? When did you last get laid, anyway? Wouldn't it be better to just have your friend help you out than jack off alone all the time? You need to wake up, I get you coffee; You need to get off, I give you a handjob or something. It'd just be helping a guy out, and the kind of thing you can just do when we're hanging out. Get it?"

"I still get the feeling you're saying all of this in a drunken state to get into my pants. You're drunk, horny, and just had a break up. Sorta adds up, man."

Roxas rolled his eyes back. "It's hypothetical, dumbshit. I'm using our situation to make a point. Sora and Riku are probably the same way. ...And I'm not drunk. I'm sociable."

Axel stopped laughing, looking his lifelong friend up and down again. Whatever Roxas said, he was coming onto him. Why was he acting as if he was against that? _He_ was the one always getting in the blonde's space, touching him unnecessarily and occasionally demanding to sleep in his bed. He already knew he had a great ass, and seeing each other naked was nothing new. Actually, take out the friend title and they already acted like they were dating. He'd gone on more 'dates' with Roxas than any of his past relationships combined. He knew the kid so well that... well, he was basically an extension of Axel himself. They shared a past, so no learning or revealing awkward secrets in a narcissistic, self-pitying introduction process. No trying to adapt to someone else, or dealing with them leaving when he didn't try. Did he mention that Roxas had a great ass?

"Well why not?"

"'Scuse me?" Roxas was a bit frozen.

"Why the hell not? Have sex, I mean. Us. Be fuck buddies." He unravelled his arm. "When you think about it, we're both gay, single, roommates and probably just about the closest friends currently living. It's a wonder we _haven't_ done it yet."

The young blonde crossed his arms. "You mean you actually want to do it with me?"

That was a question? Axel snorted a bit. "Yeah, and you want to do me too. Come on, no way we haven't been into each other all these years. By this time it must be required."

That _did_ make sense. And who was Roxas to turn down sex with his gorgeous roommate, especially after the speech he'd just made? "Fine. When we get back?"

"Unless the alleyway interests you."

"You're disgusting." In response, Axel just winked infuriatingly at him and started walking. Roxas had to jog a bit to catch up to him. Fucking long-shank freak.

They turned onto another street. It was going to be a long walk back to the apartment at this rate but taking the bus at this point of the night would be beyond stupid. Walking it was.

They were both thinking about it, so much so that it felt bizarre to take such a long time to get to it. Both knew what they were getting into – well, the physical part, which _should_ be the only part anyway. Man, they should have made this decision closer to home! Now there was this weird anticipation hanging around them and it would sound overeager on either of their parts to bring up anything about it again. But really, how did one know the other would be clean, or prepared? Did they have condoms – oh, of course they had condoms, come on – and lube at home? Fucking implied that they would be going all the way, though no rules had been laid out presently. How was Roxas supposed to know what Axel liked and vice versa? Well, there had been casual mentions before when Axel would come home and describe in far-too explicit detail the awesome thing his most recent partner had done to him, or he'd done to them. Roxas made Axel come with him when he bought anything even mildly kinky because he felt like a total creep doing it alone. That didn't seem all that helpful at the moment, though. Why do you always forget day-to-day conversation when the information actually becomes useful?

"Yo, Rox?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh..." Words dried up in his mouth, he was almost stammering. Changing the subject seemed like a reasonable course of action. He said the first thing which entered his pathetic mind, "Hey, how 'bout we call off the bill on these drinks?"

He didn't know how equally thankful Roxas was for something less awkward to talk about. "...Huh?"

Axel's hands were at his roommate's shoulders, massaging in a way that was borderline sinister, had he been a stranger or something. It was not the friendly, relaxing kind that a massage should be, at any rate. "It's the victory round you promised me for winning our tournament the other day."

He was beyond-fucking-glad that was all Axel meant. "What? You didn't win."

"Oh, but my friend, I _did_." One of his vice-grip hands let go to flourish in the air. "You forfeited. I won by default."

Roxas slapped the other hand off his shoulder. "I went to bed. I had work in the morning."

"Exactly. You knew you were losing."

"...Fine." He grinned. "When we get home we'll go again. Rematch. Whoever wins is the total and ultimate winner overall."

"Loser?"

He had just the thing in mind. "Loser has to explain to the landlord where rent is this month." He pretty much forgot that they'd been making a deal about who was paying for drinks. He just wanted to play video games.

"You are so fucking on."

The unspoken relief that passed between them seemed to even lighten the air a bit. Though there were rarely secrets they had hidden from each other, the small fear that things might have just changed because of sex seemed to insignificant and frankly girly to mention. Right now things felt normal, more or less. They were the same as they had always been. They could handle this. Nothing would be different. Nothing would be uncomfortable. See brain, how stupid it had been to worry about that?

* * *

><p>The sky outside their apartment window was turning to a light indigo, not quite morning light but not the pitch black of nighttime. The buildings were completely blackened, silhouetted on the blue background as the sun lazily considered rising. It was that silent time of day when even the animals wanted everyone to shut up and if a car drove by you sort of assumed they either had to go to work inhumanely early or they were doing something suspicious.<p>

It was hardly silent in their apartment. The small space had been filled with little beeps and clicks and pre-recorded battle cries for several hours now, as well as the two friends' insults, curses and victory shouting.

They'd forgotten all about their conversation.

Axel was half on top of Roxas, trying to throw off his balance and cause the little man on the screen (currently throwing kick combos at a massive rate) to fly into a pixelated abyss.

"Axel you-... ass-... Get off my, ngh-... Aw!" Roxas elbowed him hard in the stomach as his little ninja thing skidded off the platform screaming and the voiceover claimed Axel was the winner. "I'm going to fuck you with this controller, I swear to god!"

Axel would like to see him try. "Yeah? You're talking pretty big for someone who just got their ass handed to them in like every game."

"Every time I was going to win you sat on me. Or fucking groped me. Or farted on me. Cheating prick."

The redhead smiled, both fond and smug, and started scrolling through the commands to start a new round. "That's how I always play; you just don't know how to play against me yet."

Roxas was more tempted than he had ever been to follow through on his threat. He leaned into the couch, picking up his controller (or potential rape device). "Just start the game."

The start-up music played and the camera circled their players, rocking slightly on their feet as though a computer-generated character could actually be eager to fight. The voiceover proclaimed their battle begun and they pressed hard on the stick to run at each other. Not a single punch was landed before Roxas tackled into the _real_ Axel, knocking him onto his back. Axel didn't have a chance at struggling as the nimble young man on top of him had already swung a leg over his shoulder, pinning him.

"Rox, what the-...Mnf!" He couldn't finish his question as Roxas was practically on top of his mouth. Damn it! The fucking sore loser was sitting on his head! They hadn't done this since he was at least ten-... okay, _maybe_ fifteen. Twenty.

Roxas laughed his victory. "This is playing by _your _rules. If you don't want my balls on your face you're going to have to-" But Axel was a step ahead of him, nudging under the leg of his boxers and doing just as Roxas suggested, sucking boldly on the rough flesh. "Axel!"

It didn't last long, as the blonde kneed him in the head and rolled off. "_Ow_. What'd you expect? You thought that'd freak me out?" He pushed himself over Roxas. Their now unmoving players went ignored. "Oh my dear Roxas, do you know me at all?"

But he wasn't fighting the redhead or coming up with insults, he just stared at him from his trapped position. "Hey, about tonight? Weren't we supposed to, y'know, have sex?"

Axel paused, having been on the verge of doing something totally degrading like giving him a raspberry. "...Oh yeah. Guess we got kinda distracted." Okay, so that was supremely lame but video games _were_ distracting, especially when he was winning!

"Do you still want to?"

"Yeah, I do."

Silence. Roxas waited for Axel to make some kind of a move, or leave an opening for _him_ to make one. "Kissing would help."

Neither was sure who moved first. It didn't matter. There was a brief, messy clash of nose-to-nose and teeth-to-teeth but a moment of their experienced manoeuvring set that right. Lips moulded the way they were supposed to. It was hardly their first kiss with each other – far from it, actually. But this meant something... or did it? That one was left to be worked out. Lust took priority over thought.

It was a bit overheated, a little too wet, and neither could decide who would take charge. But it was still _good_. Never let it be said that those boys didn't know what they were doing.

Warm hands slid over Roxas's sides, holding firmly at his hips. It wasn't forceful. Axel really didn't even know he'd done it. He was focused on sweeping his tongue over the corner of his best friend's lips _again_. He wasn't picking up on the fact that Axel was asking for entry, apparently.

Somewhat frustrated, he murmured against his lips, though his breath was half-stolen by the long kiss. "Come on, Rox, open up."

That hadn't occurred to Roxas, quite honestly. He was so focused on the reality that he was actually kissing Axel. On the way to having sex. With Axel.

Holy shit.

Roxas made a dismissive sound, as if pretending he _planned_ that and opened his lips. He darted his tongue into Axel's warm mouth before he could have the same done to him. There was another struggle of whose-tongue-where before they could slide pleasantly against one another. Movies make it seem like there's a lot more room in there than there really is. Yeesh.

Axel didn't feel much like smart-ass comments anymore. The most sensitive nerves north of his waist were being set off by Roxas's tongue. The almost-ticklish feeling crackled down his spine, settling and burning between his legs. Mm, he'd forgotten the little blonde was _this_ good. He didn't feel the firm hands in his hair until they were already tugging him forward, forcing the kiss deeper. Well. He definitely wasn't against that.

There wasn't much need to breathe, small gasps of air any moment their lips weren't completely connected was enough. Little sound passed between them. There was too much feeling to need to hear anything as it was. Roxas caught Axel's lower lip between his teeth, just tight enough to spark the nerves, and to hold onto it until he _claimed _it back. The redhead's soft groan surprised him. Hm, so he liked that, did he? He would make sure to store that away for future use.

He didn't have to wait long. Axel dove into his friend's mouth fervently, so much that he pushed the two of them back along the floor a bit. Roxas's foot got caught up in one of the controller cords but he let it be. He wouldn't pull away for _that_. Axel's hands were pulling him a little higher, aligning their hips against the height difference. He inhaled sharply at being moved. It was a delicious feeling. He was starting to think he'd have a fetish just for Axel's hands. Obligingly, Roxas slid one leg between his, pressing them together as close as possible.

... Well, not quite. Would it lead to that? It still hadn't been answered who would be on top. Did it matter? Neither actually _cared_, so...

Axel slipped off his shirt. Roxas hadn't been wearing one to begin with. The blonde didn't approve of their lips parting and made up for it by devouring Axel's throat with hard kisses and nips. He sat up a bit so they were level, fingers leaving red spikes and just ghosting over his waist, looking for a place to rest.

"Mm..." Now, he hadn't expected that. Axel always had this idea that Roxas would roll over one in bed though he was so forward in everyday life. He'd been wrong before. And if _this_ was what he got for being wrong, then he gladly admitted defeat. He gave up the struggle with his younger friend and let him roam as he pleased. Roxas's teeth brushed a particularly sensitive nerve and he caught himself moaning again. "Fuck..."

Axel rolled his hips a bit, as if the noises weren't letting him know exactly how good this felt. He rested his lips just barely against the curve of his jaw. Roxas was moving with the man above him, just lightly rocking his body. The moans against his ear made him high. There wasn't room enough to be smug, all he knew was he wanted to hear _more_. It was a second before Axel noticed his proximity, and took it to his advantage. Lips attached to the appealing swirl, nudging aside blonde spikes and teasing the shell of his ear.

Hands. Teeth. It was too much.

Nowhere near enough. There had to be more stimulation, more pleasure.

Lips. Grinding. Clothing was in the way.

So hot. So hot. _Way_ too hot.

Somewhere, Axel had gotten hold around Roxas's waist again. He was moving them? Where? Couch?

Roxas's head collided with something solid ("Ow, fuck-...") and he bit Axel hard ("What the hell-?"). It seemed they miscalculated and ran him into the couch. He pulled back from their tangle of body parts, dazed. Something fell from the cushion to the floor next to him. His watch?

Ugh, so much for the mood.

Axel moved to shove the offending timepiece out of the way to at least give them room to keep going on the floor. Another minute of this and he'd be too hard to even move without pain. His hand settled over the metal. "It's seven AM?"

Roxas cautioned himself before he could punch his friend for asking something so stupid at a time like this. His head twisted to see the digital display. "Apparently." It burned his eyes a bit. Man, it must have been late... early.

"Wha-... Goddamn!" He moved off of Roxas, dropping back on his ass. "Goddamn and a half!"

"What?" He was _stopping? _No, not okay! Not okay at all!

"Dude, I have a job interview in like an hour!" He checked the watch. "Less than that."

He couldn't believe this. And yet, it was just like Axel. "You-... Fuck, why didn't you say anything?" He really couldn't have brought this up before they started drinking? Before sex was brought up or maybe before they were halfway-fucking-there? You couldn't leave a guy hot and hard like this! That's not healthy!

"I forgot, alright? I was a little too busy thinking about getting my rocks off."

"No time to remind you you're a moron. Get up, I'll help you get ready." It hurt like hell for Roxas to stand up. Sometimes having a penis is like having a weight between your legs. He held out his hand to help the good-for-nothing redhead to his feet. Not that he deserved it, the asshole.

Axel, scratched his head sheepishly, following after Roxas like a kid who broke a lamp. "I'm sorry, Rox." Now that work had been brought up he was starting to feel sleepy. Maybe he could skip the interview - there were _other_ jobs. ...Probably.

"Don't worry about it. That's not the priority right now." He dragged Axel into his room. They were going to have a hell of a time making him into something that anyone would consider hiring. "Do you have clothes for your interview?"

"Buh...?"

That was expected. "'Kay, find some. I don't care what it is."

Clothes. That's cool. Axel could do that. He made his way to the pile of clothes in front of the near bare closet. He was _going_ to hang them up one day. Just... when he wasn't busy. Okay, shirt. Probably something sort of respectable, y'know, to be hired and all. He couldn't help that he had an affinity for black and the occasional piece of leather. He was sure he had a button-up somewhere from his high school grad...

It took a good few minutes of digging to find the shirt, heavily wrinkled, but good enough. He found his trusty DVD to check his hair. Heh. God, he was sexy.

With no shirt to toss aside, he slipped the unfortunately formal garment on. He went to find briefs – boxers would show over pants. Least the thought of having some fat old guy ask him questions about where he'd be in ten years finally killed his budding erection.

... He'd really have to question himself if that got him hot.

Axel let his boxers drop to the ground, probably never to be seen again and grabbed his flame-orange (oh yeah) briefs. Roxas observed his progress, blasé. He was mostly present to make sure Axel didn't just fall down in his own filth and fall asleep. Again. A short minute of fruitless searching in half-empty drawers did nothing and just made the half-dressed monster of lankiness look even more ridiculous.

The redheaded elder got that tone of asking for something. "He-ey, Roxas. You got any nice-lookin' pants?"

"My pants won't fit you, fat ass." Roxas kicked off a couple empty pop cans to give him room to stretch out on Axel's futon and picked up a dog-eared automotive catalogue. He flipped through it, noting all the dollar-store green page markers bursting out the top and sides of the pages.

"You are _incorrect_ once again, my friend. Your pants fit just fine. That is if you weren't so shrimpy." He swayed a bit drunkenly on his feet. Alcohol had worn off, or been peed out, but sleep deprivation lasted.

"Whatever, I deflect your short joke." Roxas held up the catalogue. "Isn't this mine?"

"Share and share alike. You passed kindergarten, didn't you? Now, pants."

Roxas distracted himself with the flashy cars. He'd bought it with the intention of getting a car he could actually have. Really! He also happened to like to fantasize about the ones he couldn't buy without selling his soul. "Just wear black jeans, they look close enough." Idly, he flipped to Axel's closest tabbed page and snorted at the hulking compensation-worthy vehicle "You were seriously considering this? This is worth more than your measly life, little man."

Axel pouted. "Well yeah. It's _sweet_, isn't it? I mean, after I got a job and everything..." He hopped on one leg and swayed dangerously trying to get into his pants. Mission: Get Dressed was once again successful.

"Huh. A-plus for ambition, F for results." Even his eyes glazed over a bit at the car, despite his teasing. Sigh. How real life bites sometimes. "You'd have to suck millionaire cock for this baby."

"Didn't you know that's my plan?"

Roxas had to laugh aloud at that. "I wouldn't pay that much for you."

Axel purred, kneeling on the futon next to his lifelong friend. "Hm, that's because you get all this for free now, that right?" He awaited the pillow to his head, or the witty back talk.

But didn't get it. Roxas had frozen up, suddenly appearing uncomfortable. He pushed Axel back to ease the pressure of his proximity. "...Look, Ax. Don't bring that up too much."

"Huh? You're the one who suggested it." He grinned again. "Why? Are you _embarrassed?_"

"Like hell. I just don't want things to get weird between us because we're doing this. Okay? Don't act like it's something new and amazing 'cause it's not. Don't make it awkward."

That... actually caught him off-guard. So much so that he thought he should be offended. "What the fuck? It's not going to get _awkward_. You're worryin' about nothing." He shoved the blonde back, somewhat disbelieving that he'd accused him of that.

"Yeah, you're right." Roxas cleared his throat. "I was thinkin' _you'd_ think that something was different. I wouldn't."

Axel straightened up, starting to head for the door. "Keep telling yourself that. I've got to get to this thing." Roxas got up to follow. He'd have to start getting ready for himself as soon as Axel left. Not for work, but he was supposed to see Olette today to help her with moving. He'd be lucky to get through the day without falling asleep standing up and dropping her boxes of books on his feet.

"Think you're prepared then?"

"I've _got_ this. How bad can an interview be?" Breakfast went ignored. If he really had to, he could pick up a breakfast sandwich somewhere and eat it before he met the guy.

"What do you say when they ask why they should hire you?" Roxas sat on the back of the couch. Maybe he'd get _some_ sleep in.

"I'd make a valuable asset to your company because I'm efficient, self-motivated but a team player, I enjoy being everyone's bitch and I once saved an orphan puppy from a burning hospital-church in some piss-poor country. You act like you're dealing with an amateur bullshitter here."

"Resume?"

"I got Zex to print it off. I'll pick it up at his house on the way."

"Have you got bus fare then?" Roxas sincerely hoped that after Axel got a job he could stop being his babysitter. He didn't care enough to suit the part.

"For that far? Psh, sure I do." He reached into his leather jacket, which currently hung over the back of the couch until it was needed, fishing out some coins. He stuffed a handful into his back pocket without counting it – it felt like enough, and he was rushing, kind of. He got his keys too, while he was at it.

There was a significant moment of hesitation at the door. Possibly because he'd slipped briefly into unconsciousness.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What're you waiting for? A goodbye kiss?"

That snapped him out of it. He wasn't really sure what he'd paused for, but he wasn't going to admit that and sound insane. He offered his best friend a middle-finger salute before snapping the door shut behind himself.

* * *

><p>Okay, this is technically just the first half of chapter one. It was intended to go up all together before I realised I'd written a twenty thousand word first chapter, so now you have an extra chapter, y'all! Part two should be only a day or two more while I edit the behemoth.<p>

Betas please? It's less fun trying to write something for five months and finally reaching the end only to realise you now have to go back and edit it all. Also I'd really just like someone to light a fire under my ass from time to time so I get to what I intend to write.

Reviews, good, bad, or neutral, are all well loved. Looking at my other stories and leaving a review there too would also be well loved. Perhaps even a little _too_ well-loved.


	2. Chapter 2

Big thank yous to everyone who has read so far. Spread the word! I won't appear on the front page unless you include M-rating in your selection so I am harder to find.

Some recommended listening for this chapter is BFFF and Only Young, both by Bowling for Soup. But anyway, let's get to the good part.

* * *

><p>Axel felt that he absolutely deserved to feel sorry for himself right now.<p>

He wandered, utterly lost, through the business district, eyeing hotdog stands with burning envy. He would do anything for something to eat right about now. Idly, he wondered which of the working men (or even women) passing by him might be open to trade sexual favours for a semi-decent meal. Though he'd probably lose his appetite if he had to do that. That was another option...

'_I could die out here, trying to crawl my way back home. I'm not sure where home is from here...' _Helpful Axel's brain fed him vividly grotesque images of himself crawling home mid-death on a hot desert sidewalk, nothing but a frail pile of skin and bones (more than he was now, anyway).

After his interview – which was too painful to narrate – he lugged his despondent self to the bus stop only to realise he'd only collected enough small change to make it about one way and a half. No way home, which also meant no money for lunch. He'd been up all night – curse you, beloved video games – and hadn't eaten since him and Roxas finished of an old bag of chips and the last scrapings of dip at about three in the morning. He was so _tired. _Ugh.

Axel crumpled heavily onto a nearby bench and allowed the looming cloud of self-pity to hang all around him. He _almost_ didn't care that he couldn't be his normal stunningly gorgeous self right now. He didn't have to be eye candy for asshole employers that didn't like his hair or his attitude. Seriously, he could be a trophy employee! How could anyone _not_ hire him?

He flung his head back over the edge of the bench and let out a long-suffering sigh. "Rox_a-as..._ Sa_-ave me_..." He held the whine for an impressive length.

'_This is the end for me'_ His mind declared dramatically as growing-dimmer green slid closed. _'I'm starving, I'm broke and lost. At least I'll leave a beautiful corpse.'_

_... Vrrr. Vrrr._

_...Vrrr. Vrrr._

"Phone?" He questioned aloud, rather stupidly. Fingers drifted to his pocket, slowly lifting the vibrating piece to his ear. "Axel has passed on and can't come to the phone. Leave a message. If you want to know the time of the funeral service press-"

He could hear the sigh on the other end. Roxas. _"I'm going to guess that you're starving, broke and lost_._"_

... Damn, how did he always _know?_ "... Ye-_ess_..." The pathetic redhead let his head fall back again.

There was a pause on the other line. _"Right. I'm not done with Olette but I need lunch. Stay where you are and I'll find you."_

"Did I ever tell you that I love you?"

"_This is being added to what you owe me once you get a job."_

"Never mind, you're horrible to me."

"_And don't forget it. I'll be a couple minutes. See you."_

"Later." Axel mumbled and let his hand fall back to the bench. The promise of food started to bring his strength back. Gradually. He might just make it.

True to his word, within ten minutes, a flicker of blonde spikes appeared here and there between taller crowdspeople. Maybe there was a God. Or something.

Roxas approached the sorry sight that was his best friend. "Alright, Princess, you can get up from the fainting couch now."

Axel growled a bit, nose still pointed skyward. "Did it take you the whole trip here to come up with that one?" Blindly, he stuck one hand out, expecting to be helped to his feet. Not really expecting, actually. More like marginally hoping. Sort of.

Although somewhat disinclined to after the jab, Roxas grabbed onto his arm and heaved him up none-too-gently. He had to push all the impact onto his back leg to manage the heavy lump of redheaded dead weight. "Come on, big guy. You can do it."

Like a toddler, Axel uncertainly gained the ability to walk on his own after a few assisted steps. So _hungry_. So _tired_. Petulant, defensive, ill-tempered and occasionally depressive qualities aside, Roxas was _awesome_. Much as he acted offended and hard done-by, no one else would have actually saved his ass like this – _this_ being far from the first time. Were he not so assured that he was too charming and too necessary to Roxas to be abandoned, Axel might feel a twinge of guilt at that. Maybe he'd play the caretaker one day when the younger man needed help (... it _could_ happen), though only to actually help as he'd received from Roxas, not nagging. The cleanliness of the apartment and the general productivity and upkeep in their downtime were issues that neither of them cared to raise until it reached an emergency. Like they ever had girls over to impress or friends that weren't used to them or in similar situations themselves.

Roxas – without the additional weight of Axel, thankfully – navigated them towards a simple cafe that would meet their most immediate physiological need. The place smelled kind of strong – like a mix of scented candles that shouldn't be mixed – and was frequented by hippies on weekends, but during weekdays, even at lunchtime, it was quiet and the staff didn't bother you. The food was something to be spoken about, if one was willing to step outside the burger-and-fries range but also avoided the ultra-health items (grasshakes, Roxas affectionately called them). He'd sometimes come here at lunch if he needed to cram in paperwork between bites, or read away from chatter and distraction.

They found themselves a booth by the nearest window and Roxas ordered the same thing for both of them. He figured at this level of hunger Axel would likely get any sustenance down his throat as fast as possible without caring for trivial actions like actually tasting it.

He leaned on his elbows, staring across the table. "So the interview sucked."

"What was your first clue? I didn't want to work there anyway. Somethin' else will open up."

"Will it be by next week? You know how close we are to having our utilities cut off."

"I know." Axel shrunk back sheepishly.

Roxas's gaze hardened. "_And_ that rent isn't far off, which I can't cover on my own."

"I know."

"And come next month I won't be paying for your phone anymore."

"I _know..._"

They paused for a second to let the server set down their plates. "You have to get a job, Ax, or we'll be out on the street. My parents won't take you in."

"I don't got a fancy degree like you – I can't work anywhere."

"Deliver pizzas for a while then. I did it in high school, it won't kill you."

"You know what it is?" Axel slapped his hand down on the table. "It's my hair. And my tattoos. The earring too. They just don't like 'em! It's prejudice, Rox!"

"The world's not ready for its workers to have black tears inked on their face, eh?" Roxas smirked. Axel knew he was making fun of him, and even he had to admit that the image was strange. Well, when you put it like _that_ it was... "Until it's ready – find a job."

"I'm too talented and charismatic to pack boxes in the back of a factory! My skills are totally underrepresented!"

Roxas balanced a bit of a chicken on his fork, his stare growing long. "You know you just used the word 'totally'? _Gay_."

"Eat me." Axel grumbled between bites. "I'm willing to work, just nothing's right."

He actually laughed. Traitor. "You're not. You're lazy and you're having high school delusions of some perfect job with recognition and glory."

"I'm hurt! I went to that interview for something totally boring and-"

"There's that 'totally' again..."

"Agh!" Axel dropped his head onto the tabletop. "O_kay_. I'll ask Zex if he knows any other openings."

"Zexion found you that interview?" He was caught.

His voice was small, muffled with his face in the table. "And... called in a recommendation?"

Roxas watched his hopeless friend for a long guilt-heavy moment. "God, Axel, wake up. You need a job. Any job. We have to get money. We're not being saved, or spotted, and I don't have a back up for you this time. How long has it been since you've had a job? Six, seven months? I don't care that you look like a punk, but someone professional does. The only thing your look is good for is being in a band, which you can't do, and you know Dem's band is broke as fuck anyway. Maybe working in a tattoo parlour, but you suck at anything artistic. I like our apartment, so suck it up and do something humiliating for a while. Fuck!"

"Sorry, man. I'll pick up some classifieds or something this aft-"

"Hey! Axel! Roxas!" A small crowd had gathered by the door. Among them – and hailing the boys at the table – was Kairi (previously mentioned), her friends Selphie, Tidus and Wakka, and... Yuffie? How did they even know each other? There were a couple more people with them that neither Axel nor Roxas could recognize.

"Hey Kairi." They harmonized, in that same enthusiastic tone one might use to sing a funeral march.

The group of them managed to squeeze themselves all into the booth to the slight disgruntlement of the staff. Yuffie naturally took the closest seat to Axel, trapping herself between him and Wakka - which looked like a strange bookend situation, to say the least. She was fine as a person, really, but everyone knew that she had it in for Axel and when she wanted something she could get a bit... predatory.

Roxas watched her carefully. Very carefully.

Someone was chosen as a representative to order for all of them. Yuffie leaned into the redhead – though that wasn't one hundred percent her fault, since someone else was shoving everyone to one side to make room for themselves. "Hey there. Still single, Axel?"

"Still gay, Yuffie."

"You're no fun."

He smirked. "I wouldn't know, ask R-" Roxas was clearing his throat loudly, almost pretending to choke. O-_kay_...

No one else appeared to take notice. Selphie rested her elbows on the table, crossed under her chest, and leaned closer toward her right, at the blonde nearest her. "I heard Roxas is single now too."

"Actually-"

But Roxas's firm voice drowned his out. "Yeah, just since yesterday."

Kairi laughed. "How'd you find out already, Selph?"

Tidus elbowed the brunette. "Because she's got a twenty-four hour text conversation with Olette." She punched him back.

"Ohh. You know, she seems so sweet but she's got more gossip than anyone."

"Well, yeah. No one suspects her!" A couple of plates were set on their table then. There was no way there'd be room on the surface for everyone's. Hopefully some were just getting drinks. That seemed less likely at lunch time than out at night.

Axel made himself heard this time. "You sure you're single there, Rox?"

The girls perked up in unison. Kairi positively beamed. "What! What's going on?"

His expression revealed nothing. "Who knows. I usually don't know what he's on about." Axel prepared a response, but it shrivelled up in his throat when someone kicked him sharply under the table. He bit into his cheek, meeting an equal glare across the table with Roxas.

"Oh." She seemed disappointed.

Yuffie grinned at him, then at Axel. "Well, what happened with Hayner?"

"Fell out." He speared another bite with his fork. "How about we talk about something interesting?"

"Yeah, let's wrap this up _ladies_." Wakka looked self-satisfied until Yuffie pinched him hard. "Ow-..hey!"

The petite self-proclaimed ninja pushed herself half-across the table. "Anyway, you better watch out, Roxas. I'm sure a bunch of guys have been waiting to pounce you as soon as Hayner's out of the way."

Kairi giggled, clearly getting in on this sort of talk. Fangirls. "Well, what about Axel? How long has it been since you've been with anyone? I mean, if you walked into any gay club you'd have guys all over you."

"Eh, I've kind of got something going now."

"You do? Since when?"

"Who is it?" Axel could feel a bruise forming as he was kicked again.

He winked, flinchingly. "I've got to keep some mystery about me, don't I?"

Yuffie scowled. "I call bullshit!"

The conversation dissolved a bit once the remaining plates were set on the table. It became a disjointed mashup of three different groups, each discussing something entirely separate, occasionally interrupting one another and crossing into another conversation. Or something. Roxas wasn't really paying attention anymore as he finished eating.

He checked his watch. "I've got to get back. Another time, guys, Axel." Roxas stood, waiting for the four other people on the bench to let him out.

"Hey, hey, wait!" Axel simply crawled out over the crowd on his side.

"Aw, you're going too?"

He waved back to the table, "I've got to mooch some cab fare," and booked it out to meet Roxas, who had covered a surprising distance for his short legs and was already out on the sidewalk.

He caught up with his roommate, "For a second I thought you'd really leave me."

"Didn't make it out fast enough. Won't happen again." Roxas smirked at him, with just the smallest touch of cheek.

Axel ignored him. "So, about the money you were lending to me..."

"Walk with me as far as the crosswalk before you run off with my money." Axel obeyed, hands sliding into his back pockets as he slowed his stride enough to walk alongside Roxas. The blonde didn't speak again for about seven steps. "So why don't you straight up tell Yuffie to fuck off? I mean, she gets hints, she just doesn't care."

"She knows I'm as straight as a showtune. 'Sides, Yuffie's a guy a week and likes a challenge. Best to just let her get it out of her system." He glanced toward Roxas. He'd never really thought about it, but two flamboyant characters such as themselves walking side by side... they already _looked_ like a couple. Hm. Someone should have pointed that out earlier. Given that, he could get away with more right here and no one would be less approving than they already were.

"It's been at least a couple months." Roxas pointed out, tonelessly.

"That long?"

"_Yes._ You tear apart other girls – and_ guys_ – who want you, why not her?" He kicked a cigarette butt into the gutter, watching it roll away. "She's getting scarier. Probably waiting for the right moment to roofie you."

Axel started to laugh, hard. "That'd be real effective. If she's interested in fucking _me._"

"... She _could_ be."

"Relax, Rox. If you're that worried you should have put your claim on me while we were there. What was up with that?"

"What claim?" He snorted. "Are you _mine_ now? Are you my _man?_"

"Uh... no..." Roxas may have had a point there. He was still acting so reluctant – what for? Wasn't this _his _idea? The conversation in the restaurant had him thinking. If they weren't dating... was he then single? Was Roxas? Or was there something in between? Could he fuck other people still, if he wanted? More importantly, would he be okay with it if Roxas did?

They stopped at the corner and waited with the crowd for the light to change. Axel's eyes were drawn to his friend's right hand, currently close enough that it could be touching his left hip if a breeze went by. And he didn't think.

His hand was moving, almost trying to sneak up on him and avoid rejection. Long fingers curled around Roxas's unsuspecting palm. His hold lasted less than a second before Roxas snapped his arm back against his side, as though a surge of electricity had generated from the hand holding his. What the hell was Axel _doing?_

Axel... wasn't sure whether he should be offended. "What was that?"

"Come on man, have I ever held your hand before?" Roxas levelled his gaze, raising one eyebrow.

"Not unless you were dead or dying."

"Yeah, so I'm not about to." The little white walking man flashed and people started to cross. His voice was rushed, as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket, seeking some change. "You sould come back to Olette's with me and help move boxes and shit. Give you something to do for the rest of the day."

"Eh, that labour doesn't sound like me." It wasn't as though he wasn't doing _anything_ with his day. He was sure he'd find something to do at the apartment. Perhaps he'd make a pirate ship out of the couch or, more likely, watch infomercials all day and slowly into the cushions until he could technically be considered part of them. "Paying my way home is the best way to keep me out of trouble."

He was probably right. Across the street the walking man had changed to a flashing red hand. Roxas awkwardly piled bills into the bony hand outstretched to him. "That's more than you need. Don't keep it, I'll know. I should be back-... in a few hours. Actually, several, more like." He was turning and walking away as he spoke. "See you."

"Later." They parted in converse directions. Roxas jogged a bit to make it safely to the other side as the red hand became solid.

Axel glanced down at his left hand, flexing it a bit, then shrugging and pushing his way to the curb to wave down a taxi.

* * *

><p>That day it was discovered that it took exactly... whatever several hours was... for Axel to go properly insane with Roxas gone and nothing better to fill his time with. His mind refused to perform any function that related to finding another job today, so that was out. He'd finished his last game and they didn't have the money to buy anything new. Roxas was the only one with a laptop, which was password protected (likely rightfully so, after Axel infected it with all his porn downloads and it had to be wiped).<p>

There might have been something he could do but thinking about it got him agitated and stubborn. He wanted Roxas around so there could at least be some banter and he wouldn't be left alone with the voices in his head.

In his boredom and lack of Roxas, looting the blonde's room seemed like the appropriate way for Axel to entertain himself. He was sure to find some good stuff, and in all likelihood, a goodly amount of humiliating crap. He could go for laughing at whatever his best friend kept hidden in his room.

He shoved open the door. The initial once-over yielded nothing but the usual slightly-less-junky-than-Axel's junk pile. Like that would stop him. His time living with Roxas, and all the years crashing at his house before that taught the superspy-like redhead that Rox would never keep the same things in the same place twice, if that spot was ever found out. So, drawers, closet, and under the bed were far too obvious and instantly counted out of the search.

His pillow was lifted and turned inside out. A couple of condoms had been stashed under it, but nothing revolutionary. Good old Roxas, always prepared. Axel wondered if he'd leave them there if this sex-agreement turned out to be a regular thing. What were they doing there _now?_ It had to be for Hayner.

Oddly enough, Axel didn't like that thought.

The overcrowded chair-turned-nightstand seemed a bit too open but hey, sometimes the best things hide in plain sight? Or... however that phrase goes. Fuck, who cares. Some bills (Axel pretended not to see those), souvenirs from his parents vacationing overseas, a few blank subscription cards from the backs of car catalogues, inside comic books, or DVD cases, and a couple popsicle sticks with the tiniest amount of sticky residue remaining. _Boring_.

He checked under the mattress next. Nothing but the porno he'd planted there himself hoping Hayner might find it one day. Hayner was the jealous type and watching Roxas try to squirm out of it would be entertaining enough to make the beating he'd receive after worth it.

The bed area was barren of anything remotely interesting... though there wasn't much else in terms of hiding spots. He checked again. A small set of drawers with a pile of movies and games obscuring the entire top surface, the slid-closed closet door, Roxas's fancy work clothes handing on the back of the door, an old corkboard (purchased by Roxy's mother), with some notes, posters, photos, letters and whatever else Roxas wanted. They'd all been stuck to the board with CDs from when they were kids that they'd cut into ninja stars back when they still found that cool. Nothing had been added to that since high school, so there was no point in looking.

Literally, his closet was the only place left. Maybe Roxas had relaxed his security, or forgotten (unlikely, with what he found last time), or had found a mouse hole or something. He wouldn't dig his own in a rental... unless he had something _really _good to hide.

The cheap door slammed into the frame with a loud clacking sound. Axel crouched, digging through the still-unpacked-after-a-year-and-a-half boxes. If this went on, he'd have to admit that Roxas was just as boring as he looked.

A stack of thin cards toppled under his hand... wait, not cards. Photos. Man, it seemed archaic to have real physical photos anymore. They were probably pretty old stuff.

Axel flicked past the family photos (there weren't even any embarrassing baby photos, though he'd seen all of those a long time ago). It was his own flame-red hair that caught his eye in one. The miniature versions of himself and Roxas didn't look too impressed with having their photo taken. Not surprising, as they were only censored by bubbles and the skin that was visible was almost vivid pink-red.

'_Huh.'_ Axel tipped back to sit, staring at the picture, _'I completely forgot about that day 'til I saw this...'_

Autumn day. That kind of day where you thought autumn was lying to you because it must still be summer. Not cold but too windy to play outside. The ten and seven year old boys had only just sworn they'd be okay alone for an hour while Axel's mother went out. Of course, no one should ever believe that ten and seven year old boys will be 'okay' when left alone for an hour.

Axel climbed up onto the railing of the stair, carefully balancing on the end, in a delicate place between either falling or hurting something _very_ sensitive. "So, what're we gonna do while she's gone?"

"I dunno," Roxas sat cross-legged on one of the stairs (he could fit in that position at his age), "Does your mom have anything cool?"

"No, she's a mom, duh." He rested his chin in his palms, "So what do you want to do?"

"I wish we could go swimming." They lived just over reasonable walking distance from a just under reasonable sized beach.

"No way, the water'd be too cold and the wind would blow sand in your face." Axel swung his legs for a second then lit up. "Hey, my mom's bath is huge. Not as big as a pool, but we'd both fit."

"Cool! Race 'ya!" Roxas half-flipped out of his position, tearing up the stairs, his shirt already discarded. Axel followed at a slower, cooler pace. After all, _he_ was the oldest.

The bath looked almost like a Jacuzzi without jets. Roxas was balancing on the large rim when Axel arrived, arms overstuffed with colourful towels. He threw them carelessly to the floor. He figured that was about the right number they needed.

Roxas was already taking off his pants. "It'd be more fun if there were bubbles. Does your mom have any of that stuff?"

"I don't think so. If she does she hid it somewhere."

"Oh," The small blonde boy looked defeated only for a second, "Wait, I know!" And he rushed out of the bathroom again.

Axel shrugged a bit, starting to strip off his own clothes. He and Roxas had taken baths together before, and swam naked in the pond behind his old house together (he wouldn't realise until later in life how diseased that place probably was). Anyway, he didn't mind getting naked and hanging out in the water with Roxas. He always got over-excited when they were going to go swimming though.

It took a grand total of sixteen seconds for Roxas to return. He was holding a bottle of bright orange dish soap that had rested beside the kitchen sink. "This should work, right?"

Axel was already running the bath. "Are you sure? That's just for dishes."

"No, says right here you can wash your hands with it." Roxas uncapped it and went to sit on the edge again, only in superhero briefs, "You use this stuff when you run out of the liquid you blow bubbles with. It'll work."

That seemed perfectly logical. "Oh. Okay. Pour it in right where the water comes out."

The tap was turned full on cold to simulate a real swimming pool. Roxas held the soap in the stream and squeezed the bottle as hard as he could. It was at least a full minute he held it like that - until the entire surface was covered in bubbles – then threw it aside. They tossed off the last of their clothing and climbed inside. As more water filled the tub, the bubbles just grew. When at last the taps were shut off the mildly tangerine-scented bubbles reached the boys' chins and spilled out over the sides of the bath. Dish soap foams fast. But this, of course, is a seven-or-ten year old boy's _dream_.

They tackled into each other, bearing handfuls of foam. They gave each other foam beards, bubble hats and hair. They pushed hard into the soapy water until it cascaded over the other (and the edge as well). They threw the bubbles into the air and at each other. The boys found constant ways to make each other laugh with their never ending supply.

Their hour was nearly up before either of them began to notice something wrong. Roxas had started squirming a while ago but now it was getting unbearable. "Axel, I'm all itchy."

"Yeah, I kinda am too..." Axel shook the foam from his arm. His skin was a raw red colour, lined with thin white cracks. The air made it burn. "_Ow_. What...?"

They brushed each other off, finding that the better percentage of their bodies looked like that. Immediately the panicked boys jumped from the tub and started furiously rubbing soap off their bodies as fast as they can. Roxas whined loudly and hopped around in agony.

It was about that time Axel's mother got home to her ruined bathroom, son and temporary ward. The boys kneeled on the tile floor, soaking it and the towels they brought, scratching their skin and throwing bubbles off, all the while groaning and blaming one another. Her first reaction was anger, then amusement, then pity. She lectured them on what certain soaps are meant for then took them both to the shower to clean off properly. She couldn't help taking a quick picture of their misfortune before she did though.

Axel smirked a bit as he remembered their childish idiocy (and lied to himself if he thought they'd grown out of it), then shook it off. '_I'm not a nostalgic old man, come on.'_

He did allow himself the small indulgence of taking in a few more pictures of him and Roxas. There was a pretty good one from a party they went to while in college. It was one of the only times that Roxas and his friends partied together with Axel and his friends. He must have had too much to drink (not surprising) because Axel remembered less about this one than the photo of him at ten years old.

In a testament to how much they had matured in the decade since that last photo, the day this was taken, they'd had another flash of creative inspiration to keep themselves entertained. Axel remembered a too-hot summer day with nothing to do, and all of them hanging out at Demyx's. The lighter drinkers were keeping hydrated on soda until night fell while others, namely Axel, Roxas, Demyx, Larxene and co. just threw that rule to the wind and started on their beers early.

Demyx had one of those inflatable kiddie pools. Very shallow but pretty long, enough to fit a good number of people inside if they wanted water up to their ankles. Axel couldn't remember now who had suggested human bumper cars. He knew he had been one of five or six people to rush inside to find anything slippery – oils, creams, personal lubricant (only unused bottles, relax). Those inebriated beyond all hope of dignity spent most of the afternoon crashing into each other in the greased up kiddie pool until their well-over-capacity weight blew a hole into it.

It was nighttime in the photo. The majority of the party was inside now but a handful of people had crawled out onto the roof. Axel's group and Roxas's group were clearly visible, dotted around points of the gently angled roof. Axel (still visibly somewhat lubed) had his face buried in Roxas's knees and brown bottles in both of his outstretched hands. The blonde had drunk past pride and looked to be genuinely enjoying himself. He was in the midst of speaking but hell if Axel could remember what he said. Looking at the photo put the dregs of a song he couldn't remember into Axel's mind. He determined it must have been playing when this was taken, or at some point that night. Maybe Roxas was singing – just trashed enough to do so. Somewhere along the line they had drawn ink moustaches on everyone in the picture.

Axel threw the picture down before he could waste any more time _remembering_ things. He hated thinking on the past, even on good things. It left less time for _now_.

He couldn't help noticing Roxas's face staring up at him from another image on the ground. In this one, though, Hayner stood close next to him, their arms slung around each other. Hm. Axel flipped it face down on the floor, revealing another – Roxas and Hayner at some Christmas party, keeled over in a mess of blonde drunkenness. Axel shoved this one away as well. In the next photo underneath Roxas and Hayner were squished cheek-to-cheek among a crowd of other people, both subtly flipping the bird to the camera. Four more pictures later and still all of that sickeningly adorable couple. Axel toppled the pile over, refusing to look again.

That wasn't all that was hidden in the sunken little box at the back of the closet. It seemed like Roxas was gaining quite the _collection_. Ticket stubs from a concert he went to with Hayner, some weird doodles obviously given to him by Hayner reading "was bored at work" at the bottom, a folded shirt with a note pinned to it: "return to H".

'_I'm going to puke if I find a sex tape in here.'_ Wait, what was he saying? That would be hot.

Still, apart from those childhood photos, he could see nothing but Hayner. Hayner, Hayner, Hayner. All fucking Hayner.

Axel stopped looking abruptly. He wasn't interested anymore. None of this was even funny, or especially shameful to Roxas. It bothered him. Er... not bothered, exactly. It... honestly, he didn't know. He'd never felt jealous before. And he wasn't jealous now.

He just wanted to throw the box out the window.

'_I __**could**__ get rid of it. I'm not... jealous, but how wants this gross old stuff around?'_ He'd be doing Roxas a favour. After all, he'd just been complaining about Hayner last night. To Axel. It was only right. He'd even be taking care of it for Roxas so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain and tediousness. It really was the right thing to do, he was convinced.

Axel pushed himself to his feet. He'd have to do it in his own room... just in case. The content of the tiny overstuffed garbage can next to his bed was dumped into the kitchen garbage. He kicked aside some of the clutter to make floor space and his fan was set to max. Any and all items related into Hayner were gathered and thrown into the empty pail, along with some of his own paper for fuel. From what Axel remembered, photo paper burned well.

He flicked the lighter again and again until some of the edges caught. Orange light flickered and flared. He watched the corners blacken and curl with satisfaction, and holes eat their way out from the inside, disfiguring the images. He didn't really know why this felt so good (beyond the pleasure burning normally gave him). He didn't _care_ why. He still wasn't jealous.

It had always been weird to think of Roxas in a relationship. Roxas was so painfully unromantic and usually chilly to all forms of affection, or being touched at all, really. Axel couldn't figure out why anyone would willingly date the prickly young man. Unless it was just about him being attractive. Otherwise, who could stand someone that stubborn, dishonest, verbally abusive... Axel could only because he'd known him forever. That, and he was quite arguably insane all on his own. It helped.

No matter what, he'd never liked the notion of dating, especially related to Roxas. It didn't seem like him. Not like the Roxas _he_ knew. Axel didn't think that made him resentful. It was just fucked up, that's all!

That said... maybe Rox had a point with this whole friends with benefits thing. Or whatever it was. He didn't intend to decide on a title, and his tiny best friend probably didn't either. If that was the case, then he couldn't be blamed if he didn't know where certain boundaries lay. Like the hand-holding thing. So not his fault!

"Agh..." His fire was weakening, but less remained for a spark to blaze off of. The last orange colour crawled over the page in thin lines and curls, then faded. Heavy smoke was flung into his face the moment the flicker was gone. Axel's eyes and throat stung, feeling dry yet watering as he fumbled and tripped over himself to get the window open and let some out. He blinked to clear the stinging, sniffling and wiping his sleeve under his nose. Right. Ventilation.

It took a couple moments for enough smoke to clear that he could get back to his "sacrifice" though the room was still vastly hazy, and much was slipping under the door into the rest of the apartment. He really fucking hoped that wouldn't set off any alarms.

He shuffled with the papers until the remaining fresh white paper was pushed to the top and could be lit again. He cleared away from it this time, only keeping the window open a fraction. Axel didn't want huge plumes escaping and alerting the tenants below, prompting some falsely noble asshole to call the cops.

It took a while of turning and repeating the burning process to finally reduce the evidence of that relationship to ashes. It settled something in Axel's mind, though it wasn't quite like closure. What would he need closure from anyway?

It wasn't until he'd flung slightly sweaty red hair back against his bed in contentment with his good work that he even considered the time. When did Roxas say he'd be home again?

...

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit..." Axel flung himself off the floor towards the windows, throwing them wide open. The smoke was far too visible. The smell clung everywhere. Roxas would skin him for setting fires in their apartment (again). And... right now he wasn't so sure he'd be approving of _what _he was burning, mostly considering he'd already be pissed off when he found out.

"Ah, fuck me in the ass!" The vents were switched on, along with any other fans. Axel himself started fanning smoke out once he was sure he had all the windows open.

Even if he was killed today, at least the goddamn pictures would be gone.

* * *

><p>Night had painted itself over the sky by the time Roxas forced his exhausted ass up to the apartment. He probably wasn't going to make it much past walking in the front door. Despite this, for whatever reason he'd rented a movie. Yeah, the process of renting was going out of practice but Sora worked at a rental place right now, so he got the movies absolutely free with no download time. Plus, the place was a hole in the wall that no one ever went to, so he could go weeks on end without returning the movie and no one would care. Usually he just waited until Sora showed up at the apartment and took it back for him. No work involved and life was good.<p>

He didn't remember what movie he picked up. Sora had just handed him something, so all odds pointed to it being either stupid, fucked up fantasy, or both.

"Hey, Axel. You still among the living?" He kicked the door shut behind him and-

Why the hell was it freezing in here?

The definite culprit sprung up from where he'd been hidden by the back of the couch. The guilt was almost pouring off of him."Roxas! You've been gone forever. I didn't think you had work."

"I didn't. I told you I was helping Olette. Then everyone got dinner and I went to Sora's work for a bit." He was staring Axel down and everyone knew it.

'_Don't notice the smell, don't notice the smell...'_ Axel was pretty sure he'd cleared the apartment of any traces of smoke, but he couldn't help the paranoia that he'd just adjusted to it and Roxas would see right through him no matter what. "So... did you bring _me_ dinner?"

For a second, he might have believed that his dependable friend had forgotten him. The blonde man finally sighed and tossed a styrofoam carton on the kitchen table. "Only until you get groceries. Everything's gone bad."

"Great! Sure." Axel could feel the unspoken accusation beating down on him. "Ah...heh, if it's about the windows being open it's... you know me, I get too hot. And uh, I was also cooking something, yeah. Burned really bad, had to air the place out. Didn't want the fire department up here. Oh, but the pan's not out though because... 'cause..."

Roxas smirked. "Dude, I really don't care what you did." He tossed the store-logo-emblazoned case onto Axel's chest and headed for his bedroom. He needed a sweater. A few sweaters. He hadn't noticed the smell anyway, just the cold. "Just close the goddamn windows."

"Yes sir!" His relief at not being scalped was almost beyond expression. Somehow he didn't even register the movie falling as he got up to shut the few windows and turn off the fans. He didn't feel much colder, himself. It was actually somewhat pleasant in here for once.

Roxas dropped onto the crappy couch, zipping a hooded sweater over a long-sleeve shirt. "I got this movie. Don't know if it's any good. I'll probably fall asleep watching it."

Usually they would fight over who put the movie in, even if one of them was already up. Usually it would lead to a physical struggle, which took much more effort than putting in the movie... but the _principle_ of the thing. At the moment Axel still hummed with the anxiety that he'd be caught, so he slid the DVD into the player as a sign of apologetic servitude. Then, and only then, did he throw himself onto Roxas's unsuspecting body.

"Ngh! You dumb- faggot- get off!" He swung his fist into the older man's chest, struggling to push him off the couch. There was a moment of pause in which Roxas's knees kept Axel suspended a foot over himself while he pressed play.

"Oh yeah, I've heard of this." Axel idly grabbed Roxas's head and forced it under his arm. "S'pposed to be okay, but the acting sucks."

Roxas was somewhat difficult to understand, impaired by his face in Axel's armpit. If anyone out there thinks it's reasonably easy to talk with your head under someone's arm, it's not. "Didn't think it would... it's got uh, that guy in it."

"Yeah." Axel couldn't remember his name either. Wasn't important. They were still locked in a climactic battle over couch space.

The blonde wrestled his way out and manoeuvred to sit on Axel, pushing his face into the cushions. "As long as the chick in it doesn't scream and cry the whole time." He jabbed his elbow into the back of Axel's neck, keeping him down.

"Ow- That's what _all_ women do in horror movies unless they're the badass or the crazy one. Fact." He shoved against the awful cheater of a roommate. It was damn near impossible to push him off from where he was trapped. Of course Roxas _knew_ this from years of experience and was using it against him. Axel would never do that. Axel was the freakin' saint in this friendship or... whatever you call it.

They grappled for possession of the couch while the introduction played. The beginning was always dry and cheesy, thus hardly worth their attention. Priority fell to getting a spot for themselves. There was an attempt to have both of them take one end but, typical of them, it ended in a war to shove feet in the other's face to see who would cave first.

Axel got an arm around Roxas's chest, who instinctively started fighting it. "Wait, Rox. C'mere." Almost like dragging around the dumb dog he had as a kid, Axel pulled the smaller of the two up to one end of the couch. He tried to shift and arrange their bodies, one in front of the other. "There. That work for you?"

Roxas paused. "Uh, Axel? Are you trying to spoon me?"

"What of it?" He pinched Roxas's side, earning a slight twitch. "Look kid, you're skinny. I, despite being a sex god, am also pretty damn thin. We fit like this, quit being a baby."

The greatest response Roxas could invent for that was, "Who are you calling 'kid'?"

Silence then. Well, other than the occasional scream. The on screen characters were picked off one by one doing predictably stupid things. Going off alone. Getting out of the broken down car. Ignoring obvious warnings. Trying to scare their friends. Calling out into shadowy hallways. Having sex. There's a bit of satisfaction to watching a group with seemingly no notion of self-preservation doom themselves systematically. You know, behind the frustration.

The awkwardness of their proximity started to fade as both men were entranced by a particularly gory display. Neither of them had ever especially liked to be touched (excluding for obvious purposes), but this wasn't too bad. Blood does that. As does entrails wrapped wetly around rusty spikes. And half-gouged eyeballs swinging on their fleshy cords.

Axel laughed aloud at overdone splattering sound and the soonafter horrified girl's screeching. "No way!"

Roxas elbowed him a bit, grinning. "Man, did you see that? Gross."

"_No one_ has that much blood in their head, even if their face just exploded."

"Head? There's not that much blood in the whole body. He just painted the walls _and_ that girl."

A choking sound drew attention back from their blood-volume discussion. Some metal device that looked a bit like pliers was forced inside the girl's mouth. Axel's mouth dropped open a bit – kind of the opposite effect of what a normal person would do watching that scene, that being, sealing their lips tightly shut forever. "Oh shit. What's that?"

"Dude, are they actually going to...?"

"Seriously? If they really..."

The weird pliers shoved all the way into her throat. Scream. Gargle. Silence.

Roxas punched a hand into the air (somewhat awkwardly, from this position). "He actually did. I take it back, this movie is awesome."

Axel's expression was similar to that of a person who had snatched the last freshly prepared grilled cheese in a cafeteria when all that remained otherwise was the too-wet pre-wrapped egg salad. You know. That one. "I don't care that it's impossible to rip someone's vocal chords out. I've been waiting for _years_ for someone to do that to the girls in these movies."

Roxas grinned, unwittingly settling into the redhead's body with his eyes still fixed ravenously on the celluloid carnage. "Good, nothing else would shut her up."

"It's really too bad she's going to die after this," Axel mused, appearing quite genuinely remorseful. "She'd make a great wife _now_."

The two exploded into laughter. "Good call!"

Axel leaned even closer to the screen, his arms in creating an even firmer lock around Roxas to do so. The weight in his arms actually wasn't bad. It was like having a toy there as a kid, or leaning into a pillow. Or... a Roxas. They didn't align fantastically and Axel's right arm was going numb but it was nice enough. At least it was an improvement over sitting with their feet in each other's faces. Shame Rox wasn't more touchy-feely because watching him get comfortable in small ways, he now noticed, was fucking adorable. Adorable in a I've-known-you-my-whole-life-and-I-think-you're-hot-but-it's-like-getting-the-hots-for-my-brother kind of way. You know what it's like.

And Roxas... at this point honestly didn't care that Axel was outright hugging him. It wasn't as though they'd never embraced before. Just not lying on the couch. And spooning. Almost cuddling. With acute awareness of the spice-warm breath against his neck and that only a few thin layers separated his ass from what pressed up against it from behind. Hm... they still hadn't continued from this morning...

'_I really shouldn't be thinking of that watching this. That'd be great, looking like some sadist who gets off on guts being ripped out.'_ A sharp, resounding crunch._ 'Oh, thank god. Someone's femur burst out. Definitly not getting it up to that. There's a bullet in that happy place.' _

Roxas shrugged unnoticeably, one of his hands relaxing naturally over Axel's arm. That shouldn't be weird, he figured, and it really did fall into place there. He wouldn't admit he thought this, even to himself, but if this sort of thing came with being friends with benefits... well, he was down with that.

Something was still digging at Axel. A little flesh-eating monster central to his stomach.

"Roxas..." Crap. That wasn't meant to sound _serious_. He cleared his throat, strongly playing up his usual smug sort of drawl just to force the tone out of his mouth. "Apropos of nothing here. You and Hayner ever used to do this?"

"Watch movies? Or whatever it is we're doing right now?"

"Uh..." Somehow he hadn't expected Rox to see clear through him. Dumb move. Seeing as he could read the blonde like a picture book, it made sense that it worked the other way. "Both I guess."

"Movies, yeah. Horror movies, yeah. Not this position. Neither of us are all that tall, so we didn't end up with this problem. _Maybe _I'd lean on him or vice versa."

"Ah, yeah. Thought it'd be somethin' like that."

There was a strange pause. "So why the question?"

Axel made an effortless excuse for himself. "Hm. Don't know. I hoped there'd be something funny I could pin him with, or know what Seifer's getting now."

"You actually want to think about that?"

Uh, no. He didn't. Why did he say that? He was exceptionally good it seemed at digging his grave over and over. The thing had to be hundreds of feet deep by now. "Er... no, not really."

"So... you're jealous." He put up a hand. "It doesn't matter, so don't get defensive."

"And you? Keeping me so valiantly away from Yuffie's groping hand."

"Common courtesy. I'm legitimately concerned for your safety when she's around."

"But jealous."

Pause. Longer pause. "It's still not awkward, right?"

"Nah, we're the same as always." Axel didn't know if he believed that. Or maybe, if that was true now, it wouldn't be one day – given a few days or weeks. He said it, truthfully as he could muster because he wanted to believe it himself. Why did wanting about being allowed to fuck someone interfere with the lifelong friendship? Shouldn't, right? That's what you'd think.

And yet this position was just too opportune.

Fuck feeling uncomfortable, Axel figured, quite logically. "So, you ever cozy up like this not watching movies?"

His hand was covertly tracing the younger man's thigh. Roxas didn't seem to notice. "Maybe he tried to. I dunno."

"He was clingy?" Somehow, he didn't like that.

"No worse than you are. At least with less groping-"

"I don't even-"

"While I'm on the phone-"

"Aw, come on-"

"With work-"

"That was one time!" Axel jabbed two fingers under Roxas's ribs. "Don't suppose you ever tried to get all cuddly with him?"

Roxas's voice was distant, distracted by some dude getting caught in a trap and ripped clean in two. "Not really."

"So..." Axel's hand was sliding over his hip, fingertips brushing the small strip of flesh visible just over his pants. "Hayner never did anything like this?"

That got his attention. He couldn't help the reflexive inhale at the too-light touch to such a sensitive and ticklish belt of nerves. "Axel, what are you doing?"

"What? Answer the question." Fingers slipped under his sweater, splaying warmly against his stomach, not quite touching where he needed it.

"No. Because he wasn't trying to act like a character from a chick flick. Again, what are you doing?"

"I'm just touching you. Wasn't this the plan?"

"You could be a lot less lame about it." He had a point though. This morning was just about the farthest from satisfying you could get. And they were already in a rather promising arrangement on the couch. Still, Roxas couldn't melt into his arms just because he was being playful. And a moron. He preferred the touching-only part.

"Humour me? He ever do this?" The breath on his neck became a pair of lips. A thumb and forefinger closed around his left nipple, rolling it gently, just enough for pleasure to snake up into his brain and settle there, buzzing pleasantly.

"Nn, The idea was the same." Roxas didn't move but to shift his arm out of Axel's way. This was humiliating... but that didn't mean he should _stop_.

"Yeah?" He sucked almost imperceptibly light at his pulse. This was all kinds of fun for Axel, despite not wanting to hear any more about Roxas and Hayner's sex life.

He couldn't access both hands from this angle. He'd have to abandon the tormenting fingers on his chest. He half-crawled down to Roxas's fly, unzipping it easily but not going so far as to delve inside. One hand cupped between his legs, unmoving and unmentioned but obvious to both.

The image on screen became a white blip, then went out. Roxas let the remote drop from his hand. In the silence, a few cop sirens blared past their building far below, then gradually faded away.

To say the movement was smooth would be a vicious lie. The way Roxas sort of three-point turned-slash-scooted onto his opposite side was neither graceful nor sexy. But it served to get them as close as they needed. His left arm was squished under him to make room, his right found a home sliding up and down Axel's back. Meanwhile, the redhead trapped between him and the couch had cleverly situated his crushed arm under Roxas's jaw, occasionally stroking a thumb over his cheek.

With that pivotal hand he pulled the blonde into an intense kiss. Knowing what they were doing this time, it was pushed harder within a second. Rough lips were trying to force Roxas back, stirring deep-seated heat and a competitive flare. Axel's challenge was met, and he was now being held firmly round the hips to give Roxas leverage to drive the kiss deeper, darting his tongue into secret little pleasure points within his friend's mouth. It seemed like a good enough time to pull that lip-biting trick from this morning.

Axel stiffened as those evil little teeth tugged gently on his lower lip. Damn it, how did he figure that out already? Something about catching that nerve set off a flurry of pyrotechnics directly between his thighs. Goddamn. Now the little bastard had something on _him_. But he was smart, so that was easily rectified.

He shifted their position, practically on top of his younger friend as it was, parting his legs with one of his own. The free had which has supported him against the couch brushed Roxas's side and wandered up over his chest, coming to rest on his shoulder. It served an extra function to hold him where he wanted in order to claim his mouth. Even more weight pressed down on Roxas because of it, but he could take it. The feeling was little more than a comfortable sort of hardness and pressure anyway.

Axel was mildly satisfied with Roxas crushed under his body, bending one leg a bit to pin one of those underneath him, just for good measure. Two hands tilted his head back, breaking the kiss, and only one stayed, held firmly against the back of his neck. Roxas sat halfway up, propping himself on one elbow to dip his head under Axel's jaw. He nipped at the flesh again and again, always following by sucking the light mark. He could feel the body above him tense with need and harden a bit more against his stomach; he didn't _need_ to head the quiet moan.

'_No way is he getting me to act like a little bitch 'cause he can shove me around'_ Had they been open, Axel would have narrowed his eyes. He pulled away from the grip Roxas had him in, holding the back of his head and drawing him into another long kiss. _'He was just like this that one time in grade six, when-... nevermind.'_ Did he mention how much his mind's timing sucked?

One hand held blonde hair, gripping unconsciously with each rhythmic grind between their closed and growing erections. The kiss was hardly pulled apart but for short seconds as one or the other tilted his head for a new angle and their lips met again. Roxas's hand was sneaking over the leg that held his own down, rubbing up and down, dangerously close to his ass. He was not about to lay back and be taken.

Hands above him were roaming endlessly, back down Roxas's chest – pausing briefly over his abdomen for grounding as Axel dove his tongue deeper inside his mouth, tasting the wet cavern for everything it would give him. He palmed his covered cock, only giving himself a second to knead there and get his attention, then torturously let go to run over his thigh and back under his body. He splayed his fingers against his lower back, starting to push his shirt up. Roxas got the idea and sat up, Axel staying spread across his lap. Blue met green, then travelled down to where his own hasty fingers were unzipping his hoodie. There was a moment of strain and potential for dislocated shoulders as he hurriedly removed his sweatshirt and Axel lifted the sweater beneath it. The garments both hit the ground with a decisive slap.

It seemed he hadn't moved at all, yet somehow Axel's lips had materialised over his naked stomach, kissing not quite lightly enough to make him squirm and sucking not quite hard enough to make him moan. He was clutching Roxas's half-bare hips, keeping them against the couch. They didn't seem to get the message, as with each alert from the pleasure-fried nerves being ravaged by Axel's mouth, he would try to rock his hips up. It was clear where he _wanted_ his friend to be kissing instead. He dreaded how much more teasing he would have to endure before then.

Otherwise Roxas was free to move, which he took advantage of. He bit into his lip, sitting up enough to grip the hem of Axel's shirt, tugging it up to his shoulders. The redhead was forced to let go then, just long enough for it to be stripped away entirely. It distracted him from what he was doing. He wanted to borrow use of Roxas's lips again, though in his eagerness as he pulled himself up, it was more like _commandeering_.

"Mnh." The slight sound before his mouth was occupied with kissing Axel again was clear enough to the both of them. Blood-toned hair scratched against his cheek irksomely. He twitched a bit. He could catch the scent of it from here too. Strange, though, that it wasn't quite the same as usual. Smoky? No... more like ashy. He'd been burning something. As far as he was concerned, that was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now. He wanted _more_. And he wanted more _power._

There was some scuffling and unwanted tugging of limbs and "Ah, watch it, Rox." but Roxas managed to pull himself on top of Axel, one leg pressed quite noticeably up against his crotch. He leaned his weight into him, massaging over his sides.

Their chests were heaving, pumping air as hard as each could. Their hips gyrated against one another to the same pulse. The heat in the room amplified almost unbearably. Cobalt eyes slid open thoughtlessly, catching sight of his oldest friend. The grid-pattern of light coming in through the windows lit his features in bar-shapes. Avoiding poetry the best he could, he couldn't help but find it...mesmerizing. Axel. Useless, careless, perverse beyond humour, hopelessly idiotic, bad-tempered, and often hygienically repulsive Axel. So fucking _sexy_. His eyes had closed against the pleasure, oddly short eyebrows creased and pressed together. Thin lips had gone bright and kiss-reddened, a corner glistening from some misplaced saliva. His cheeks had flushed – unusual for him, as he was usually warmer than he should be – which contrasted in a bizarre way with the solid black teardrops on them. All the pale skin from angular jaw to too-bony collarbones was marked with small bruises – _Roxas's_. Bright red hair had dampened slightly at the hairline and now shot back at all angles across the cushion. Normally he'd make fun of Axel with his hair so hilariously mane-like but now he just looked...

... He looked damn good, alright?

Freezing. Wet. White. He was perched over an eight year old version of Axel. The sun was almost blinding reflected off the snow that seemed to occupy every bit of his vision that the boy didn't; It made parts of him hazy - or maybe that was the blur of an aged memory. Axel was laughing, and something made him suspect that he was too. He'd shoved him, we was pretty sure, down into this bank just a second before. The only part of himself that Roxas could see was his own tiny hand stretched in front of him, forcing a handful of snow into Axel's jacket.

Red hair and a pink face were soaked with melted snow. Almost inhumanly green eyes seemed to glow with the light and contrast. It was the best kind of winter day. Roxas-

'_Why did I think of that __**now?**__ I... Fuck-!"_ He had stopped, one hand held tightly over his eyes.

Axel stared at him, not so much concerned as confused. "Something up?"

"Huh?" Roxas realised how fucked up he must look. He shook it off. "Nah, just thinkin' of something." He knew Axel wouldn't bother asking what. He'd probably just say-

"'That's the case, get back to it."

"... Yeah." He kissed Axel, needing a reminder from all his senses that he was _here_ and_ now_ and this was real. He could still feel a bit of a cold breeze.

Axel, for his part, was getting sick of waiting. He unzipped his own jeans, jerking Roxas's already-undone pants down – checker-patterned boxers, he should have figured – enough to give himself access. Both undergarments were tugged down as well and Axel curled a hand as well as he could around their pressed-together members. Each was steadily weeping half-clear fluid, slipping into his hand and easing the friction immensely.

To say Roxas's breathing had gone off-beat was such an understatement that it was probably illegal in some countries. His body seemed to have forgotten that after inhale came exhale and then it happened all over again. This was something he though his body should really always remember. He had to separate their lips for out of the (admittedly likely) danger of passing out if he continued.

Understandably, all of this did wonders for Axel's ego. He hadn't personally seen Roxas this messed up by anything since-... Since nothing. He wasn't thinking of anything. Forget it. A slight tremor passed through him. If he kept thinking about Roxas – who he was currently jacking off, he should mention – as a kid, he'd end up an accidental pedophile.

Roxas's hands served to be a pretty decent distraction at that moment. He assumed his arms hand circled around him while his mind had been elsewhere. Determined fingers were already sliding down the back of his half-removed briefs, groping him obviously.

'_Whoa, hold up. No, we're not going in that direction tonight. I don't think so.' _Well, he intended to say so, but was having trouble remembering how to speak. _'If anyone is having their ass pounded tonight, Rox, Buddy, it's gonna be you.'_

Axel squeezed their aligned cocks, grinding slowly now, if only to offset his hand's own fast movement. Roxas's quest to get inside him was shortly put out of his mind. He could just keep stroking like that until he came... that would be okay. He honestly didn't care. There was all the time in the world to fuck his friend if he was getting cold feet. Don't think about cold.

... Unless he was trying to trick him into handing his own ass over. Of course Axel _would_ think he automatically got the top position. Roxas couldn't take it tonight – he had to attend some meeting tomorrow morning, no way he could sit in those hard office chairs over an hour, if that was the case. Using his arousal to push him past the point of giving a damn would be just like Axel. He had this way of giving people what they half-want to twist them into giving him what _he_ wanted, without even realising they'd been cheated. God, he could be just like Sora that way.

'_Thank you, conscious, for comparing the guy I'm trying to fuck to my older brother.'_ As if Axel didn't remind him enough of a sibling. He was certainly felt more like family than his brothers or his parents did. He'd been so young when they met that he couldn't remember _not _having him there. Almost every brotherly experience he had growing up, including that very personal feeling of getting worldly advice from an older brother or sister, had been with Axel instead of Sora or Cloud. And he'd shared the kind of information so embarrassing that it should be exclusively for family to Axel first, and usually, only. That sort of unconditionally, have-to-love each other bond existed between them in a way.

Okay, he'd be the first to admit. In a lot of ways this was like trying to have sex with his brother.

Oh-fucking-well, right? He could overlook that. Axel was still sexy as hell. And still very had-his-hand-around-his-penis.

Though in a moment that wasn't quite true. He tried again to lock his lips around Axel's and found himself being pushed away.

The older of the two exhaled heavily. His hand pressed to Roxas's chest, keeping an arm's-length between them. He couldn't even look at him... "I can't keep going."

Stunned silence. Roxas didn't have the sense to ask why. It was answered for him in a second anyway. "Look, I just keep seeing you as that grade two kid who wet his pants once and came to me about it. You're fucking hot and I want-... But this is _weird_. I'm trying not to be, but it's weird."

For once, he understood exactly what was going through Axel's head. "No, I know. I was thinking about _Sora_."

"I think I'm insulted." Axel managed a grin. Whatever there was to thank that Roxas was cool about this, he thanked it.

"It was just... nevermind, actually. We can stop for now." Roxas shifted, pulling himself off. Huh. Suddenly there was more than enough room on the couch for two.

Things seemed to relax, despite the painful sexual frustration on both their parts. Axel retained some of his (so-called) composure. "Want to check each other out naked for kicks and try again later?"

"Yeah, sounds good." Well, trying again later was up for debate, based on the success of the last couple times they'd seriously intended to have sex.

Blood was slowly flowing back into Axel's body and sorting itself out to circulate properly. He really hadn't slept since yesterday. Since five o'clock yesterday evening, granted but he was used to crashing after a night out. He should probably... No. Roxas, naked. They really had to... had to do something. He had to know if this would really work. There had to be a way past thinking of him like the kid he knew years ago. Roxas, naked. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open, especially both in synchronization with each other. Sex must work better than caffeine. His thoughts weren't...weren't... you know... thinking... in order. He wasn't making sense. If he could just rest his eyes for a second.

Roxas, _naked_.

That ass was his. Totally.

God, he'd used the word 'totally' again.

"Uh. Axel?" The redhead's eyes had closed, and his head drifted back against the couch. "Axel, are you falling asleep?"

"Mnuhh."

What a baby. Roxas had been up as long as he had – longer, actually, as he'd been up at eight for work yesterday morning. Not to mention he'd been hauling boxes all day. If anyone had the right to be passing out without warning right now...

Actually, this could turn out hilariously well. Axel's mouth had fallen open slightly, and his legs were still an awkward tangle within half-removed jeans and briefs. His softening length had not yet been covered up. He seemed utterly unconscious within a few seconds. Roxas wondered if they had a permanent marker anywhere around the apartment.

It didn't matter that he'd taken up the couch. If he was hurt in the morning well... Roxas would already be gone and not have to deal with his whining. It was his fault, anyway. More importantly, Roxas wasn't going to go to the effort of dragging the dead weight back to his own bed. He could sleep there.

Roxas... could sleep there too, if he wanted. He _could_ stay with Axel. A little dignifying of the two of them and there would be space for him on the couch. If he felt like it, he could sleep next to Axel. There would be nothing out of the ordinary about that. They'd shared a bed easily hundreds of times before. Besides, it was starting to get freezing in here without his clothes, and his uncanny body heat was often warmer than a few layers of blankets.

He pulled his own pants and boxers back into place, shoving the unconscious body hard to one side. It barely mumbled. He was really out, wasn't he? Awkwardly, his body settled into the space he'd made for himself.

He could sleep here, if he wanted to.

Roxas's feet barely made a whisper against the floor. He crossed the small expanse of their apartment, turning off the last light before leaving for his own bed. His door shut behind him with a light click.

* * *

><p>Thank you, boys and girls, if you stuck through the first chapter of this absurd piece of writing. I appreciate it, I really do. I can't predict for you when the next two chapters will come out. I don't expect to be doing any more writing before school ends. You'll just have to have faith in me. I realise faith is hard to find when it's been about nine months since I've shown my sorry face. I'm going to have a whole list of excuses for my absence with the next chapter of Virus or NC, whichever comes first.<p>

Reviews for more characters than just Axel or Roxas appearing next chapter? Reviews for pity? Reviews for sexual favours?


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